"You can love somebody without it being like that. You keep them a stranger, a stranger who's a friend." - Breakfast at Tiffany's by Truman Capote
'Love is pain.' believe it or not, it's so true that loving, often times, is painful and agonizing. everyone has someone he or she holds dearest to his/her heart. me too. am and will always be. my only problem is, I'm afraid of commitments. I think I'll never be ready to tie myself to a person, even that person is the one I heart the most. I'm a free person. I have a principle that me, myself, belongs to me only.
one thing I'm sure of myself, I am a coward when it comes to love. when I have someone I like, I won't confess. I would rather keep him as a friend. that's why, love always left unsaid, in my case.
I recalled back then, when I was in junior high, I liked a boy in my class. one day, he hit on me. clearly he said 'Nat, mau ga jadi pacar gua?' wow. I replied 'gak. kita masih terlalu kecil.' I was a special moron in the island full of morons. I liked him, I turned him down. ha!
since then, I was scared if someone likes me. I'm afraid I can't reciprocate their feelings towards me. liking someone is like gambling. we bet whether they like us back or not. I'm weary of love, because when I begin to develop certain feelings, the wait that comes is always painful and sad. for me, it is okay to like a person and never tell them what I feel. It's fine by me to bury all feelings I have for someone. it hurts, but that's okay.
though love won't be said, I understand it from the heart.
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